Secrets of Severus: Harry's Heated Detention
by Megapode
Summary: It's potions class and Severus Snape is all in a bother. When things go wrong Harry Potter gets the worst of it, but will his punishment be hard or something fun?.. No wait, why would detention be fun? Ha! You'll have to read to find out!


Severus Snape stormed stealthily into the stank, seeping Potions space, seething with sardonic sexy surliness. He growled at the noisy children, who instantly shut up, because they all knew their place which is bowing at the feet of the almighty Potions Professor.

It was another Slytherin v. Gryffindor session, which meant there was bound to be some tensions brewing. There were also potions brewing, because it was Potions class, but they haven't started that yet. Harry Potter was glad of the possible potential tensions, because he was bored as a Flobberworm in a french fry factory. He screwed up some parchment paper and chucked it at Draco Malfoy's head.

"Hey Draco Malfoy! You SUCK!"

"FIFTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" yelled Severus Snape in his deep manly yet authoritive tones. Today he was taking no bullshit from nobody.

"Fifty points? That is a bit excessive sir!" said Hermione Granger.

"GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM FILTHY MUDBLOOD!" Severus Snape screamed with angry anguish. Hermoine Granger was shocked but would not argue with a teacher for she was a swot and also a brownoser. All the other students laughed and pointed as she slunk out of the room in shame, even Harry Potter, because it was actually quite funny and he didn't really like her that much anyway.

Severus Snape slammed his fist on his desk and instantly there was silence. He exhaled slowly through his long pointy nose. "Today class we are brewing a particularly difficult potion so everyone pay attention and NO SLACKING." See I told you there would be potion brewing. "Everyone turn to page three hundred and ninety-four. We are brewing a potion called Whipped Cream."

Everyone got out their ingredients and started following the instructions. Ron Weasley nudged Harry Potter with his elbow.

"Hey hey Ron Weasley I told you no touching I don't want to catch the Ginger," said Harry Potter, as he poured three measures of double cream into his cauldron.

"Hey I'm sorry man but you know I'm taking pills for that. What's up with Severus Snape today? He seems really angsty."

"Yeah I get what you mean," said Harry Potter. "He looks all hot and bothered. Also his robes seem to be a bit skew-wiff."

"I agree, they're all sticking out in the crotch area. What's up with that?" asked Ron Weasley, while measuring out five hundred grams of caster sugar.

"I dunno, maybe he put his wand in there." Harry Potter mused.

"But he's holding his wand," said Ron Weasley. "Maybe he has two wands?"

"What kind of man has two wands?" Harry Potter queried, but he had to quieten up sharpish as Severus Snape walked past. He pretended to be busy by casting the Whisk spell with his wand, which required vigourous arm motions.

"Now everyone remember not to over whisk because then you'll just make butter which is useless to everyone and also will make you FAT, or in your case Mr Neville Longbottom, fatter," said Severus Snape sultrily.

Neville Longbottom splattered and splurted," I-but... Sir, I mean, I-" His cauldron burst into flame.

"Only you could burn something that doesn't even require cooking you IGNORANT NUMBSKULLIAN FOOL!" Severus Snape shreiked, and with a wave of his wand Neville Longbottom was wearing a dunce hat.

Harry Potter burst into outrageous laughter, tears of joy were streaming down his happy face as he took imense joy in the fall of his so-called friend. Unfortunatly he was the only one. The other kids stared in silence as Severus Snape glared at his new chosen victim. Harry Potter slowly started to shit his pants.

"MISTER HARRY POTTER YOU HAVE A WEEKS DETENTION STARTING IMMEDIATLY! MEET ME AFTER CLASS."

* * *

It was now after class, and Harry Potter was meeting Severus Snape.

"You've been a very naughty boy today Harry Potter," said Severus Snape. Suddenly his tone sounded different from his rage and wrath before.

"Your tone sounds different from before Professor," said Harry Potter.

"That's because I've been thinking up your punishment boy. Now meet me in the dungeons and bring that cauldron of Whipped Cream with you."

* * *

It was later, and they were in the dungeons. On second thoughts the Potions room was also in the dungeons and so was the cauldron so they might have just as well stayed there but it's too late now.

"So Harry Potter... Prepare to receive your PUNISHMENT!" In one swift movement Severus Snape renched off his robes revealing his stunning well-toned body complete with washboard abs and biceps the size of a tree trunk. This was not what Harry Potter was interested in though.

"Professor! You do have another wand!" Harry Potter cried with wonder and amazement.

"Indeed boy this is my twelve-inch hardwood with heartstring core because you pluck at my heartstring when you play with it yeah baby!" Severus Snape declared, and gyrated his hips wildly. "I'm going to teach you a new magic spell like you've never experienced in your wildest dreams! Now go rub that whipped cream all over it."

Harry Potter complied because he was a good student deep down but also he was filled with curiosity about this fascinating new magic and wondered if he would ever get a second wand. Severus Snape nodded with grim satisfaction when the rubbing was complete.

"Good work boy. Now lick of the whipped cream!"

"What why?"

"Because I said so! Or do I have to take even more points from you pathetic house?"

"No no sir right away sir," Harry Potter said like a good little boy and began to lick at Severus Snape's mighty man noodle. "Omnomnom."

"That's right boy omnomnom."

"Omnom nomnomnom omnomnom nom...!" said Harry Potter though his mouth was muffled by the meaty male magicstick.

"That's right right there omnomnom right there boy!" Severus Snape shook as he thrust his slippery sex sceptre into the boy's mouth. Suddenly to Harry Potter's delight it started spurting more whipped cream everywhere!

"Why does it do that sir?"

"That's the magic, boy! It's the magic of life and procreation. Do not forget this lesson."

Harry Potter licked some of the magic cream off his nose. "But this cream tastes salty sir?"

"And don't you forget it! Now go away, your detention is over."

Harry Potter walked towards to exit, but before he left he turned back around.

"I have just one question sir. Will I ever have a second magic wand?"

Severus Snape grinned his sneaky grin. "That's what you will learn in tommorow's detention."


End file.
